The Sacrifice of Following Jesus Overseas
I committed to following Jesus at a young age, and what I’ve learned during the years is that everyone’s faith journey is different. Because God has created each of us unique, he has also invited us into beautifully unique journeys with him, and for some, he has invited them to join him in other countries. This is true for myself and for many of my friends. I felt God inviting me to walk with him overseas when I was pretty young. Some of my friends grew up as kids whose parents followed God’s invitation overseas, and some were adults and fully into their careers when he offered that invitation. We have all walked through a different process with the Lord, and we have gone for different reasons. Some have gone as medical workers, some as missionaries, some as teachers, some as business men and women. As for me, God invited me to join him overseas as a humanitarian worker.
Though our journeys are different, what we have in common is that at some point Jesus invited us to follow him in a country that is not our own, and at some point, we said, “yes” to his invitation. For many of us, what we didn’t know at the time, is the sacrifices we would be making along the way. All we knew is that he asked us to follow him, and we did.
When I said yes to following Jesus abroad over twenty years ago, no one warned me of the hardships that lay ahead. The people around me encouraged me in my decision, held me in a high regard as if I was a more devoted follower than others, and enticed me with all that I would gain by following him. And in more ways than I can count, I have gained. I have gained a deeper intimacy with Jesus. I have gained amazing friends all over the world. I’ve gained a broader understanding of the world and different cultural mindsets. I have also gained a new mindset myself, and a different lens through which I view things. But there has also been so many loses and sacrifices along the way. And of those things, I was neither warned about nor was I prepared to experience. When I accepted my first internship abroad I was thrilled to finally be taking my first big step towards the future I had dreamt about for so long. I went into it excited and naive, but I quickly came to realize how much my saying yes to this path was going to cost. During my first six months I missed a dear friend’s wedding, my grandmother’s funeral, and my nephew’s first Thanksgiving and Christmas. I developed health conditions that have continued to today. I experienced my first civil unrest that resulted in my time abroad ending early due to evacuation, then my first ever hospitalization upon my arrival home.
When I decided to write about these sacrifices, I didn’t want to only give my perspective, so I asked a few expat friends about their journeys as well. Below are some of the common sacrifices I’ve observed and experienced. I’ve put them into different categories, because as I heard from others some obvious themes surfaced.
Social/Relationships
When asking friends about the sacrifice of living abroad, what I heard the most often was sacrificing relationships and how much time with family and friends has been missed. All of the Christmases, birthdays, and weddings that we are absent eventually wear us down, and we are never able to get that time and those missed experiences back. Having missed so much, it is a common experience to feel like an outsider without our own families.
In the missionary community, single women significantly outnumber single men. What many of my single female friends were not prepared for is that they would either remain single, or marry a national man from their new country. Most single missionary women will end up returning to their home country still single, regardless of their age, and with that comes a lot of loneliness during their time overseas. For some, this also means sacrificing the ability to have children, and that can bring years and years of grief over the loss of that dream.
This past Christmas, I was so angry about spending my third Christmas in a row alone. I found myself standing on my hotel balcony crying out to the Lord, “I feel like I’ve given you everything! What more do you want from me?” It didn’t matter that I was in an exotic, once-in-a-lifetime location. All that mattered was that I was alone, and in that moment, the sacrifice felt like too much. I repeated this experience a few days later while watching fireworks from my balcony on New Year’s Eve.
Another sacrifice is more noticeable when transitioning back to our country of birth. We often feel “other than” and struggle to feel like we fit in or have things in common with others. One gal who spent five years in rural Africa said the lasting effect of living overseas is “feeling like no place is truly ‘home’ anymore. It’s really hard to build deep friendships with new people unless they have experienced life overseas. The hardest people to connect with are people that love America and think it's the best place in the world, and they don’t care about what is going on in other parts of the world.” Most of us who have lived abroad can relate to her experience and intimately know the sacrifice of feeling “normal” or like we “fit in” to our home culture ever again.
Feeling like an outsider and struggling to develop deep relationships, for many, is a daily reminder of the sacrifice made in order to follow Jesus to a land that is not our own.
Spiritual
One gal said, ”Seeing the U.S. church in a new light that isn’t always great” is a challenge, and for a lot of us, we struggle with our home country's churches because our mindset has changed. A lot of what we experience in our churches is cultural, rather than biblical, and since we are no longer a part of that home culture, finding a church where we feel we belong can be difficult. One expatriate friend asked after visiting a church, “Are all American churches so racially segregated?” He really struggled to find a church that he aligned with and in which he felt comfortable.
For many of us who have lived abroad, we are used to worshipping in small churches that meet in homes, so visiting a large church in our home country can feel overwhelming. I have heard of many who have experienced sensory overload and even panic attacks from the number of people, the loud music, and the production lights. Some are able to adapt into this new type of church quickly, and for some, they never fully adapt and end up choosing not to attend.
Having the opportunity to worship the Lord in a new country, language, and culture is a unique blessing. It opens our eyes to the diversity and creativity of the Lord, but it often also creates a struggle in returning to places of worship in our birth country.
Career/Financial
A common sacrifice for accepting God’s invitation to walk with him overseas requires laying down our financial comforts. For many, we have walked away from careers and if/when we return to our home country, we will likely have to start over with building them back from scratch. The cost of getting re-established in our home countries can be extremely expensive; buying cars, furniture, and culturally appropriate clothes adds up. And trying to procure housing without a job history in that country can increase housing costs.
During recent conversations with a friend who is returning to her home country after ten years abroad, one of her fears is not being qualified for a job that would financially provide for her family.
A friend who served many years in the Middle East shared that one of their biggest regrets has been not saving enough money along the way, and then returning to their home country having not been planning all along for their eventual return.
The financial sacrifices we experience requires us to release all control, and walk fully by faith, believing that God will provide for our needs.
Health
Health is not a sacrifice that is often acknowledged, but as I’ve looked at my own journey, it has played a big part. Whether it be the bouts of malaria, parasites, or other illnesses, I can see how big of an impact health challenges have been over the years.
I have developed long-term health conditions because of my time overseas. I also haven’t had health insurance in years, yet live in a country that has a healthcare system that is only affordable with it. When I developed severe knee pain during a trip a few years ago, a friend stepped in to pay for my MRI in cash so that I could receive a proper diagnosis and be fit enough to get back on an airplane and back to work. Though this is an example of how God miraculously provides for our financial needs, every day that my knee continues to hurt I am reminded of the comforts I’ve sacrificed in order to walk this journey.
Some friends have had long-term dental issues because of a lack of proper dental care in the country where they spent 15+ years, and are continuing to pay the costs of repairing the damage to their teeth. One man who served many years in Central Asia has returned to his home country but because he and his family cannot afford the cost of dental care, they regularly travel to Mexico to have procedures done.
The sacrifices to our health often go unnoticed, but unfortunately can sometimes have lasting effects.
For most of us who have walked with Jesus overseas, we have sacrificed more than we ever imagined would be required of us. Some of our sacrifices have been known by our communities and churches, and some have been in secret. For some of us, these sacrifices have drawn us closer to the Lord, and for others, it has caused cracks in our faith that have been difficult to repair. For myself, it is only after 20 years of walking this road with the Lord that I am realizing all of the sacrifices I have made along the way, and the ones that are likely still in my future, but what I think best sums up my feelings about this journey God invited me on is the wise words from a woman who’s son was killed while their family served in a hostile Central Asian country: “I would do it all over again, because Jesus is worth it.”